Dave I/O

Unless I’m very far off the mark, I don’t think many of those reading this would historically associate bookies with progressive culture. I have fairly strong-smelling memories of the local betting shop near where I grew up, full of grimacing old men chain-smoking cheap fags in silence, and giving off the musty aura of despair.

In recent years, though, some chains have tried to revitalise the image of your local bookmaker. Paddy Power is one of them – with clear, clean shop designs and branding, they scream, “come and have a quick flutter, it’ll be a laugh” rather than, “bring your Racing Post and a coffin, just in case”.

Not my scene, but good on them. Gambling can be a laugh in strict moderation, and if people want to lay a few quid on a horse or a game then I don’t have a problem with that. My problem comes when one of these allegedly progressive betting shop operators uses exclusion and hatred of a vulnerable group to get a cheap laugh for more business.

Paddy Power, j’accuse.

This is made a million times worse because it pretends to be inclusive at the beginning – “beautiful transgendered ladies” is a cracking start. Then, in the same sentence – “spot the stallions from the mares”. It’s funny because they’re really MEN! Ha! Oh, my organs.

“Woman!” “Woman!” Transwoman appears and the tone gets a little reticent, maybe disgusted. “Maaaan”. Woman with a dog – “woman!” Then another transwoman, coming out of a male toilet (because they’re really men, right, guys? Right?) and the announcer ‘accidentally’ calls her a dog! Because of the dog in the previous shot! That makes it okay!

And then it tops off with a fairly masculine-looking transwoman, and the mocking is even more blatant. “Oooh, good luck with that one Ian”.

I’ve mirrored it here in case it gets removed from YouTube, but let’s see what the tags on the YouTube video are, shall we?

Brilliant. Nice work, Paddy Power; you managed to get “trannies” in there. And a misspelling of “transvestites”, which speaks volumes to the kind of gifted intelligentsia that this advert is aimed at.

Transphobia: because you’re less likely to get sued for it than homophobia. Disgusting.

The misuse of the word ‘banter’ in recent months has been incessant. Dave, a TV comedy channel that carries material from the intelligent to the reprehensible, has even used it as part of its branding. Used as a noun or verb, the dictionary definitions are -

banter(n): the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.

banter(v): exchange remarks in a good-humoured teasing way.

Seems fairly reasonable. British interaction between established friends is quite commonly peppered with the gentle exchange of insults and teasing, with the expectation of the exchange being mutual.

The thing is, ‘banter’ (a word that I despise every time I type it) has become less and less good-humoured. Outright misogyny and threats of violence, when called out by those inclined to do so, are dismissed as ‘banter’, which apparently now makes them okay. Jeremy Clarkson’s frequent tirades of bullshit are a perfect example. The number of times that I’ve been told, “oh, it’s just banter”, in the sense that classifying it as such renders it exempt from a critical eye, are numerous and just as infuriating each time.

Here are a few choice examples of Clarkson’s ‘banter’. Watch as he has a pop at some easy, vulnerable targets…

The poor -

“I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”

Cyclists -

Clarkson’s highway code on cyclists: “Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong.”

The disabled -

“Britain’s nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe…probably because they don’t have wheel-chair access.”

Victims of domestic abuse (maybe women with cosmetic surgery) -

“There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching… on their face.”

Women in general -

“Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.”

Teachers on strike -

“I’d have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.”

Playful and friendly? Good-natured teasing? Let’s try a quick Gedankenexperiment (that’s Pretentious German-Speaking Blogger for ‘thought experiment’). Imagine that someone else had said it, maybe someone you don’t find entertaining to watch on the tellybox. Maybe that PE teacher who was a dick to you back at school, or the traffic warden that gave you a ticket the other day. Failing that, try Michael Gove, he’s always a good go-to for an awful human being.

Now put yourself in the shoes of the target of Clarkson’s ‘banter’. You’re unemployed, or a woman, or disabled, or old, or a cyclist. You already get a lot of shit from the world just because of who you are or how you get around. Now, all those people who respect Clarkson, because he can occasionally be a bit funny about cars, are rationalising a little bit of extra hatred toward you.

Suddenly, it’s a lot less good-natured.

What it comes down to is this: your speech is not protected because you think that what you’re saying is funny – especially if you have a voice that’s heard by many. By having an audience, you have a responsibility to work toward equality, not sow more seeds of discrimination and hate.

And for those of you who think that I’m sat here calling for the end of sarcasm and irony, watch an episode of QI. Go on, I’ll wait. There you go, witty use of both – without resorting to picking on the vulnerable.

Just remember this. When Clarkson, or any of these pissant purveyors of the opposite of wit – has a go at women, they’re having a go at your mum. At your mum.

And they’ve got their cock out.

STOP THE PRESSES

Though I’m fully aware that it makes me a tragic human being, I play EVE Online, having moved to it from World of Warcraft after hitting the level cap there and finding nothing else to do – unless, of course, I started talking, interacting, and then raiding with people I didn’t know to start with. Because I’m an antisocial bastard sometimes, this didn’t appeal.

Fortunately, a few years ago, a friend of mine told me about EVE. She told me that it was an MMORPG for grown-ups, with a far more open world, an older playerbase that managed to keep the clarity that it was essentially a game about internet spaceships, and generally a more interesting and rewarding experience. I gave CCP, the EVE developers, a bit of money, and created my character. I then proceeded to get hopelessly hooked on a game that was playable in any mood, whether you just wanted to do some sedate mining and chatting, explore and learn about the backstory the sights to be seen, or run around space blowing stuff up.

She was absolutely right about the majority of the playerbase. This isn’t a game for teenagers with ADHD. It’s fast-paced in the microcosm but slow-paced in the grand scheme of things, unforgiving of short-term failure, and exceptionally deep. People were pleasant. Even when combative, in a world where the loss of a ship has significant consequences, you’ll almost always see “GF” in local chat, from both sides, when a player vs. player battle finishes – meaning “good fight”. It’s a game about internet spaceships. Everyone remembers that.

What EVE does have in common with WoW, however, is unremitting chauvinism.

If you have a female avatar, you can expect nonstop trash talk about your menstrual cycle. If you demonstrate that you are in fact female outside of a combat situation, you will be unable to interact as a player for all the clunkily catapulted flirting that is launched in your general direction.

Great example: I listen to EVE Radio, and pay a premium subscription, because it’s genuinely brilliant. Fantastic range of DJs playing a fantastic range of music, with intelligent discussion about stuff both in-game and in the real world, and organised events.

Tonight, a female DJ came on, and the in-game EVE Radio channel devolved into a disgusting mess of testosterone and pseudo-adolescent lust. Let’s look at some of the ‘intelligent discourse’ that DJ Violent Cupcake ended up getting. Player names are redacted because it feels like the right thing to do.

And my personal favourite -

Stay classy, EVE Online. Now, I know that this is just one situation, but I’ve seen stuff like this happening in local chat all over the EVE universe, and the same holds true for my time playing World of Warcraft. Gendered comments are used to smack talk or flirt when someone believes a player to be female, but there’s no gendered language between males.

Female players can be one of two things: the false stereotype of the unskilled female player, or ‘hot’, ‘sexy’ or ‘fit’ because they play a mostly male-dominated game. What it seems that they can’t be is skilled players in their own right, where gender is an irrelevance.

I know that I’m sounding humourless about this, but I genuinely think there’s nothing funny about pushing someone out of a group that they want to contribute to and be part of simply because of their gender.

Am I on the money here? Do you play WoW, EVE or another MMORPG and see or experience what I’m talking about, or am I just frequently in the wrong place at the wrong time and oversensitive to gender inequality? I’d love to hear from you, lovely readership. Pop a comment in below if you’ve got opinions on this one.

Follow these steps carefully. Advanced daters should try applying them to anyone you date.

• Don’t be a manipulative fuck.
• That is the last step.

I know it sounds complicated, but with a bit of effort, you can achieve greatness!

GoDaddy is huge. It’s the biggest ICANN-accredited registrar in the world, and not by a short margin. The registrar for over 45 million domain names in 2010, it’s four times bigger than its closest competitor. GoDaddy is cheap and easily accessible, and it’s the first name that many people think of due to their extensive advertising in mainstream media, including the Superbowl.

Its policies are also written by people who are either ignorant, amoral or both.
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'disability is more than wheels' by rachelcreative on Flickr

Back in 2000, I came down with an acute case of CFS/ME, commonly known by dickheads as “Yuppie Flu”. I was housebound for a year, constantly on painkillers which didn’t work, and often unable to get out of bed. The kicker here is that my case was comparatively mild – friends of mine have been wheelchair-bound, or even completely bedbound, for even longer periods of time.

The wonderful thing about ME is that it’s a gift that keeps on giving. Generally, a sufferer will pick up an annoying viral illness (often infectious mononucleosis, known as ‘glandular fever’ in the UK, or ‘Mono’ in the States). That will clear up, but for reasons unknown the body will experience a postviral syndrome. The first time it hits you, it’s like having all of your energy taken away from you, and you feel like every organ in your body is shutting down. It left me with IBS, an embarrassing, unpredictable and sometimes surprisingly crippling condition. It also left me depressed.

When I first came down with it all, my parents ended up calling my GP for a home visit. He poked and prodded me for a few minutes before declaring that I was faking it, loudly and in front of me. I didn’t have the energy to argue. Fortunately, my parents believed me – but if they had trusted the person with medical training over the crying child, as people are generally taught to, my life could have quickly become unlivable.

So, here we are, eleven years later and I’m still not the person that I was in 1999. Chances are that I never will be. Fortunately, leaps and strides have been made in convincing people, especially GPs, that CFS/ME exists. The EU have ratified it as a disability. I’m lucky enough that, due to the comparative severity of my condition and the thoughtful people that I’m lucky enough to work with, I can scrape by and hold a job without having to get myself certified as disabled and rely on the state – but others aren’t.

I want to take you through a normal day. CFS/ME sufferers have good days and bad days like any other condition, but I’ll try to average things out. Also, bear in mind that this is a normal day for me, and should not be considered to override anyone else’s statements about how they are affected by CFS/ME.

I’m not going to let TMI get in the way. In particular, this is going to involve my IBS and my sex life. If you’re going to be squicked, don’t read on – or, if you do, skip the bit headed “The bedroom”.

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Flee, Swastika Man! Flee!

Germany is still very twitchy about its Nazi heritage. It’s concerned enough about that twitch to criminalise possession of Nazi flags, insignia, and uniforms. Even using Nazi-linked slogans and forms of greeting are punishable by the same penalty – up to three years in prison. That also includes propagandising or promoting any goals of any organisation deemed to be anti-constitutional. Germans: they don’t fuck about. And who can blame them? National Socialism was undeniably one of the biggest evils in human history – arguably the biggest.

But, as we all know, censorship does not kill ideas – no cause is too radical (or, in National Socialism’s case, too evil) to lose all of its followers. For better or for worse, ideas endure.

Fortunately, there are people out there willing to continue the fight against fascism. One such group is Exit Deutschland, a German initiative to assist those within neo-Nazi groups to get out of the world of racism and violence that they bring.

The free T-shirt handed out by Exit Deutschland. Original on left, after washing on right.

So where’s the awesome? The answer is, as Exit Deutschland call it, “Operation Trojan T-Shirt”. Exit recently attended a neo-Nazi music festival called “Rock for Germany”, under the guise of being nationalists themselves. They handed out free T-shirts printed with “Hardcore Resistance” and “Nationalistic and Free”.

Doesn’t sound particularly helpful, does it? “YEAH. WE WILL SMASH THE FASCISTS BY GIVING THEM FREE STUFF. THIS WILL CONVERT THEM TO SOCIALIST UTOPIANISM.”

The cool stuff happened when the T-shirts were washed.

Parts of the dye were made to dissolve in the washing machine, to leave a completely different message – translating to “What your T-shirt has done, you can do too” and “We will help you to get away from right-wing extremism”. Contact details for Exit were also left visible after washing.

I am awestruck with how cool this stunt was. Parents will have taken T-shirts for their kids. If just one child sees the message without their parents realising, and sees a way out of a life they didn’t choose, then it’s been worth it.

Incredible work.

Atos' behaviour has inspired protests across the country.

The Tories do not like the welfare state. You only have to look at the words that come out of Conservative politicians about ‘benefits scroungers’ and ‘layabouts’ to see that the narrative they want us to believe is one of the vast majority of those on benefits are there by choice because they’re too lazy to work.

In a country where we’re told that cuts to Governmental services are essential – not necessarily true, when you realise that large corporations are paying microscopic portions of the tax that they should, even after legitimate deductions – this narrative is a convenient straw-man to justify heavy cuts in welfare expenditure.

What’s the easiest way to cut welfare expenditure? Simple, really. Cut the number of people on benefits. You’ve painted those in receipt of benefits as lazy scroungers already, so people won’t listen to them when they complain. There’s only one problem – how do you avoid getting caught, and how do you make sure you can squirm out if you are? The tiny amount of Governmental transparency that we have in this country makes the former a risk from irritating dissenters like the Guardian, and the latter is impossible if you’re the one making the decisions about who gets to keep receiving their benefits and who gets cut off.

There’s a simple answer: let someone else do it.

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